


Fallout

by clairelutra (exosolarmoon)



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Protective Ladybug, he dies but it's not permanent basically, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 16:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10312250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exosolarmoon/pseuds/clairelutra
Summary: Oh, he wasn’t deadanymore— he was standing only a few feet away, as hale and hearty as if he’d just had a solid eight hours of sleep and a good breakfast — but hehadbeen.There was a corpse burned into the backs of her eyelids as she watched the akuma’s victim reorient herself, ozone burning in the air and the water dumped back in the Seine. There was a scream buried six feet deep in her chest, swallowed down time and time and time again over the past six hours. There was an ache in her body that she shouldn’t feel, because the Miraculous were supposed to take care of that.The Miraculous weren’t supposed to let them die, either, and yet there was still a corpse tattooed across her vision.





	

Ladybug was dead on her feet.

Or, well, not _dead_ (mortality was a sensitive thought right now), but exhausted. 

Sore. 

Strung-out and heartsick.

 _Chat_ was the one who had died today.

Oh, he wasn’t dead _anymore_ — he was standing only a few feet away, as hale and hearty as if he’d just had a solid eight hours of sleep and a good breakfast — but he _had_ been.

There was a corpse burned into the backs of her eyelids as she watched the akuma’s victim reorient herself, ozone burning in the air and the water dumped back in the Seine. There was a scream buried six feet deep in her chest, swallowed down time and time and time again over the past six hours. There was an ache in her body that she shouldn’t feel, because the Miraculous were supposed to take care of that.

The Miraculous weren’t supposed to let them die, either, and yet there was still a corpse tattooed across her vision.

It wasn’t the first time, either.

Not nearly.

And every time he did this — his stupid self-sacrificial _suicidal_ bullshit that left her with all the work and a corpse on her mind — it hurt a little worse, and lasted a little longer.

The first time, it had only been a few minutes.

The last time, it had been three hours.

This time, it had been six.

How long would it be next time? Twenty-four? Thirty-six? 

Days? 

Weeks?

Six hours had been hard enough. What would she do if it was…

If it was forever?

“You were _awesome_ , Ladybug.”

All of this tumbled through her head, numbed and barely there, as she turned her body to her partner and raised her eyes to his golden smile and soft gaze.

The smile turned a little apologetic as he raised his fist, still glowing and gold and black and warm and _alive_.

(What would she do if she lost him forever next time?)

Taking a single step forward, she ignored the fist.

If she lost him for good, she’d…

A second step.

She’d…

A third.

She didn’t know _what_ she’d do.

Chat was frowning down at her now, confused and worried, smelling of skin and sweat and cologne as his chest rose and fell in precious breath after precious, _precious_ breath. “…Ladybug?”

He was rough and gentle and warm and so _trustworthy_ she didn’t know how he did it and…

If…

If she lost him for _real_ …

The thought made her bones ache, made her feel like she’d been all scraped out, made her breath come short and her stomach hurt and a lump form in her throat out of the scream as it rose up yet again.

She couldn’t lose him.

She _couldn’t_.

She raised her shaking, aching hands to clasp his face, feeling him flinch under the touch like he’s expected a punch instead.

That just hurt worse.

“Ladybug?”

Momentum unbroken, she rose up onto her toes as she brought his face down, thinking absolutely nothing except how desperately she needed to not lose him.

And then she kissed him.

It was soft, innocent, exhausted. Barely more than a dry, electric brush of lips that left that precious breath stuttering against her cheeks, a sweet press that chased the hollow feeling out of her body and replaced it with gentle heat, curled her toes and made the fog in her mind just a little bit less terrifying.

He was here.

He was alive.

It wasn’t enough, but it was something.

And now she had proof — in the way of his pulse against her mouth and the shocked little twitch of his jaw and the funny little pant she could almost taste on the back of her  tongue.

She let herself sink back to the ground, parting their lips almost as an afterthought.

“Bien Joué.”

Chat blinked at her, slack-jawed and deliciously, _steadyingly_ flushed between her palms.

“But if…. if you _ever_ do that again,” Ladybug rasped, finding her breath hitching and her throat clogging, “I’ll kill you _myself.”_

Incorrigibly, Chat just turned redder.

Ladybug was tempted to shake him.

“I… I can’t…” She swallowed the scream back down, back where it belonged, and let her head fall, thumping against his chest.. “I can’t lose you again, Chat. I just… _can’t.”_

“Ladybug…”

“Don’t make me figure out how to live without you.” She felt his breath stutter, could see his hands twitch and flex in surprise. “Just…” Her voice hitched and broke embarrassingly. “Just don’t. Don’t do that. Please?”

There was a moment of only the smallest of hesitations, and then…

“I-I promise,” he whispered to her hair, broken in his own way as he pulled her close and held her tight, body heat sinking through her suit and soothing away the ache in her like a hot bath. “I promise.”

For the first time in six hours, Ladybug let herself cry.

**Author's Note:**

> let me l ive
> 
> (and let ladybug live too, ya dumb cat)


End file.
